Reach Out to Others Whenever and However You Can
Building on our prescription to be nice, we extend the concept to being friendly. It takes little effort to be friendly, yet it seems too many people do the opposite.
They’re self-absorbed, focusing on themselves and not on others. They look inward instead of outward.
Being friendly doesn’t just apply to outgoing people, even though it might be easier for them. Everyone can—and should—be friendly. This applies to the introvert just as much as the extrovert.
Each of us can be friendly in our own way.
As an introvert—along with a slight majority of the population—I may not be as outgoing as others, but I can still be friendly. For me, it starts with the simple act of waving to my neighbors, a lesson I learned through my father’s example.
We live in a small 27-house subdivision. Our home is one of two that flank the entrance. Whenever I’m outside, I wave to my neighbors as they go by. I also try to include a smile as I do. Usually, they’re driving. Sometimes they’re on foot.
If I’m near the sidewalk as they walk by, we exchange a quick greeting. Sometimes they pause to talk. This adds to our interaction and deepens our connection.
Yet it’s not just neighbors who receive my efforts at friendliness. I wave to everyone as they enter or leave our subdivision.
Either they’re my neighbor or they know my neighbor. Both deserve a friendly welcome. And most all wave back, even those who are visiting.
Many neighbors now intentionally turn their head toward our house as they drive by, checking to see if I’m out. This gives them the opportunity to wave first. It’s affirming when they take the initiative.
Though some may think me odd for this practice, I’d rather stand out as being affable than stand out as being aloof.
It takes more effort—especially for an introvert—to be friendly in other settings, yet I strive to be friendly to people when I’m shopping or in public.
The social environment I’m most often in is church. Some congregations are friendly, and some are not.
When my wife and I visited churches for my book 52 Churches, the friendliness of some members stood out. Yet at too many congregations, everyone ignored us. No one said “Hi,” and no one acknowledged our presence. It’s as if we were invisible.
At most of these congregations, the people talked with their friends and those they knew, but they dismissed us and other visitors.
Yes, at some churches, people made awkward efforts to connect with us, but at least they tried. I’d rather encounter an uneasy attempt than a stoic distance.
My takeaway from this experience is to look for visitors first.
When I serve as a greeter at church, my plan is a simple three-step process. I make eye contact, smile, and offer a handshake. Sometimes this last part becomes a fist bump or a high five.
Regardless, we make a connection, albeit a brief one. Even an introvert like me can do this.
Yes, there are other ways to be friendly, with some people more talented at it than others. It’s easier for some to be open, outgoing, and gracious.
Yet we can all be kind and pleasant with others. This is the essence of being friendly.
Life Lesson We should all try to be friendly to whatever degree we can whenever we can. In doing so, we become more aware of others and help make their day go a bit better.
Read more in Peter Lyle DeHaan’s latest book Sticky Living featuring his compelling story-driven insights and tips, part of the Sticky Series.
Peter Lyle DeHaan is an entrepreneur and businessman who has managed, owned, and started multiple businesses over his career. Common themes at every turn have included customer service, sales and marketing, and leadership and management.
He shares his lifetime of business experience and personal insights through his books to encourage, inspire, and occasionally entertain.